Improving Self Image

“Every man and woman alive is gifted by God in some special way. People who have a self-image of worth are going to see value in what they do. This is the attitude that motivates them to be and to do their best. It’s a drive that comes from within people.

-  William Walton 

“It matters less what others think about you,
What matter is, what you think about yourself!”

- Vivek Ray 

Please Note: This Topic is spread over 3 parts in 3 pages. Use the links at the bottom to navigate.

It will be surprising to note that many people who look accomplished, achieved and confidence personified, are actually suffering from low self image. In-fact much of their achievements are motivated by their attempts to regain their self worth.

The greatest reason for having a poor self image is that we have normally learnt to see ourselves through the eyes other people’s expectations. As we grow up we make the expectations of others as our own expectations from us. As a result we end up being stuck with a low self image, and struggle with it for life. Though some may achieve in spite of their own self image, they are never able to really follow their dreams and fulfil their purpose in life and hence are never happy and joyful.

However, since you have already decided to take control of your life, your self-image has become your own responsibility. The onus of changing your self-image (from a low self defeating one to one that is adequate), now lies entirely on you. So, here are a few tips and guidelines that will help you to create a new self-image. This will of course require a few changes and courage to make it. After all it is in your hands.

Believe in love of God 

God has made each one of us in his own image. Human being has been bestowed with gifts that have made him the master of this world. So, as a human you are already valuable. God never sponsors any flop. He has made people different, so that they can serve different purpose in this world, but he has not made any one less than other. A mother will not like it if one of her children, will feel worthless, ugly, good for nothing. She may not say any thing, but her heart will bleed because she loves all her children equally. Similarly, think how God, who is father of us all, feel when we think poorly of our own self and castigate ourselves to a life of misery and mediocrity. Develop love for God, and believe in his love and you will have taken first step towards having a positive self image.

Accept your uniqueness

Think of it, everything about you is unique. Your finger prints are unique, so is your smile, the way you laugh and the way you view the world is different. Think of it how boring and confusing this world would have been, if everyone looked the same, behaved in the same fashion and could do the same things. You are a valuable member of humanity who contributes in its own unique way to the wonderful tapestry of this world. So, accept your uniqueness and feel good about it. Discover those things that are special with you. Don’t worry, if some people reject you because you do not appear to be one of them. You just may not be a pig, but a tiger in the story.

Take a stock of your weakness

We as human beings are not perfect. We have weaknesses and shortcomings. And some of them can be pretty disturbing and dangerous to us. But do not make them a reason to feel bad about yourself. Do not keep on re-enforcing them by negative thoughts such as ‘I am a coward, or I am worthless or I am not good enough.’

First, know that you deserve everything good in life. Know it, every gift that you have is from God, and every weakness comes from the devil. It is duty to fight the devil and eliminate it. So, how will you fight something? You need a war-plan and here it is in three simple steps:

  • Recognize the devil that is your weakness and accept it.
  • Take a good look at it. Analyse the harm it causes you. Also understand why the weakness is there or is it really a weakness. There are a surprising number of weaknesses that ultimately become a blessing in disguise.
  • Accept that the responsibility of this weakness is with you and you have every power to combat it. Either you can eliminate the weakness, or you can turn it into strength. If you cannot do either, you can definitely do something at least to neutralize its effects. All you may need to do is Take Action

You will find a number of techniques in this site that will help you remove your weakness and make you a better person. But first you have to believe that you do not deserve to live with these shortcomings and it is within your power to do something about it.

Find ways to use your gifts

There are more number of people in this world who have so many talents and they never make any use of them. Unfortunately, in the rat race to become like others they never utilize their potential. I understand that there may be such dominating factors in our life that may compel us to do things that are not consistent to our aptitude, and ultimately make us frustrated and take a toll on our self-image.

John (name changed) never had any formal training in music, but he was a natural singer. His parents wanted him to become an engineer. In order to fulfil his parent’s wish, he studied engineering and ultimately became one. But he never enjoyed practising the profession, though he was good at it. He hopped from one job to another. As a result he was unable to go up in his career, or amass any wealth. Even his relationships were a mess. As a result he started feeling worthless and started suffering from a poor self image.

Thankfully, his boss in latest company he was working in, realized it. One day at an office get together he invited John to sing. And he was an instant hit. The boss encouraged him to join the band in his club where he sang during weekends. As, he start finding outlet for his talent, he started feeling worthy once again. With a new improved self image, he started enjoying his work as well and ultimately become a valued member of the company. He stayed on and started climbing the corporate ladder. People loved him and he loved them. His relationships improved and today he is successful in real sense.

So, when you use your gifts to do something, you will automatically get recognition, admiration from others as well as improve your sense of self worth. You will feel at ease with yourself and be able to enjoy life to its fullest.

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